Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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