i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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