Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
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You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
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Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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