party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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