I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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