I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
