I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
