i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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