i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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