Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
