she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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