I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
