Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
