I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
