I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
