So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
