while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Well I just put wine in my tea
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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