god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
