Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
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If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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