The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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