420 ftw
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
