please come you make the beer taste better
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
