dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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