Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
