You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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