8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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