There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
