they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
