Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
