I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
