Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
