ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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