So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
