That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
