I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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