You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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