I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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