I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
