walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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