So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
