How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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