Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
