you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
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I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
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If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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