I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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