we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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