This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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