You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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