if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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