im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Green mimosas i think yes
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
