I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So vagazzling was a success
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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