It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
