Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
