Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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