Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
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