If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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