We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
pray to the hookup gods
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
