he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
