My friends, they love my intelligence
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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