i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize
