and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
