HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I think people are normalizing furries
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
